Love, Law and Queer Futures: Why LGBTQ+ Couples Should Still Visit Their Notary

In Belgium, same-sex marriage has been legal for over 20 years, and yet many LGBTQ+ couples still skip a crucial step when building a life together: talking to a notary. For notary Sophie Maquet, meeting a notary is less about paperwork and more about organising and protecting your queer family in the long term. Whether you are married, in a legal cohabitation or allergic to institutions, your choices have real consequences on your home, your partner and your future kids. This conversation is an invitation to open that door before life – or the law – decides for you.

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Organising your queer family, not just “signing papers”

For Sophie Maquet, the starting point is simple: seeing a notary is about organising and protecting your family, just like straight couples – not about being “more complicated” because you are LGBTQ+. The difference is that queer couples often have had to fight harder to exist as a family in the first place, which makes legal protection even more crucial.

From the moment there is a shared home, a legal cohabitation, a marriage or any form of joint ownership, it becomes important to sit down and ask: how are we structuring this? What happens to the flat or the house if one of us dies? How do we make sure nobody can just push the other out? These questions can feel uncomfortable, but not asking them leaves the door open for families of origin, creditors or the state to decide what happens to your shared life.

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Marriage, legal cohabitation and “anti-marriage” couples

Belgian law offers different levels of protection depending on the type of union chosen – or refused. A couple who marries civilly benefits from strong legal protection, especially for the surviving spouse, which often makes things simpler when one partner dies.

For those who do not want to marry, legal cohabitation can work like a “low‑cost marriage”, in Sophie’s words: it offers less protection than marriage, but still gives the surviving partner certain rights that they would not have otherwise. And then there are the “anti‑marriage” couples, who reject both marriage and legal cohabitation. In those cases, the notary can set up a clause d’accroissement (often called “tontine” in everyday language), allowing the surviving partner to choose between full ownership or usufruct of the home after the first partner’s death.

Importantly, this clause is not reserved for non‑married couples; married couples can also choose to include such a clause if they want to reinforce the partner’s position on a specific property. The key is to make an informed choice, instead of assuming that love and time together will magically translate into legal security.

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“I don’t want my family to kick my partner out”

In Sophie Maquet’s experience, one concern comes back constantly in queer couples’ requests: protecting the surviving partner from being pushed out of the home by the deceased partner’s family. This anxiety is very real in contexts where family relationships may be fragile, homophobic or simply legally privileged by default.

Several strategies exist to prevent this. Couples can decide that the surviving partner will keep a life‑long right to use the home (usufruct), with ownership eventually returning to the families after their death. Or they can go further and organise things so that full ownership automatically passes to the surviving partner. These are not neutral choices: they reflect how you see your couple, your ties to your families of origin and your plans for possible children. But the point is that they are choices – and the notary is there to help you articulate them, rather than leaving them to chance.

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Marriage contracts and risky jobs

Another important tool is the contrat de mariage (marriage contract). For Sophie Maquet, this is not a luxury, but a form of basic protection when one of the partners works in a “risky” profession – for example, doctors, lawyers or entrepreneurs whose professional debts or liabilities could threaten the family’s assets.

In such cases, a separation of property is often recommended from the start, to shield the couple’s home and shared life from potential professional problems. As the relationship evolves, the couple may then choose to buy property together and use the marriage contract to protect the other partner more strongly – again, a legal way to align the structure of the couple’s assets with their idea of mutual care.

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Every major change in the family is a good time to go

One of the most concrete pieces of advice from Sophie Maquet is this: go see your notary before big decisions, not after. That includes buying a home, getting married, entering a legal cohabitation, starting an adoption process or using assisted reproduction (PMA), stopping work, or any change that significantly shifts how your family is structured.

The adoption or PMA itself may not require a notary, but the fact that the family changes does. A new child, a change in income or in who does unpaid care work can all have legal and financial consequences down the line. Checking in with a notary each time a major life event happens is a way to keep the legal framework aligned with the lived reality of your queer family – including in scenarios where the law is still catching up.

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“Push the door, the first consultation is free”

Many people, especially those with bad memories of institutions, hesitate to contact a notary because they assume it will be expensive or intimidating. Sophie Maquet insists on the contrary: in Belgium, notaries are paid when an act is actually signed, not for the consultation itself. The first meeting – the one where you ask questions, explore options and see if you feel comfortable – is free.

There is also a long‑standing tradition of free advice in the profession, which means you can literally push the door of a notary’s office just to get clarity, without committing to anything yet. For LGBTQ+ couples who have already had to fight to be recognised, reclaiming this space as one more tool in our survival kit can be empowering: it is about making the law work for us, not the other way around.

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Every queer family is different, but they all deserve the same thing: the ability to choose, protect and transmit their lives on their own terms – not just according to default rules written without them in mind. A notary will not make your relationship more real, but they can make sure that when life hits hard, your partner and your future kids are not left unprotected.

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