The Trumpocalypse Files: Censorship Gone Wild at the Pentagon

Just when you thought the Trump administration couldn’t get more ridiculous, the U.S. Department of Defense decided to go nuclear—on history. As part of Trump’s obsessive purge of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) content, the Pentagon is scrubbing thousands of online images and posts, including anything that dares to contain the word “gay.” Because, obviously, that’s the real enemy.

Among the casualties? The Enola Gay. No, not a radical queer activist, but the World War II bomber that dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima. The aircraft is being flagged simply because its name includes the word “gay.” A total coincidence, given that Trump’s administration has made LGBTQ+ erasure an Olympic sport.

But wait, it gets dumber. Also marked for deletion? A U.S. Army Corps of Engineers project, because one of the engineers had the last name “Gay.” And a photo of military biologists studying fish—yes, fish—because it contained the word “gender.” Who knew marine biology was a secret front for the DEI agenda?

Of course, the purge isn’t stopping at accidental queer references. Other “offensive” content includes tributes to the Tuskegee Airmen, the first Black military pilots, Women Air Service Pilots from WWII, and pioneering female fighter pilots. Women’s History Month and Black History Month have already been erased from government platforms because celebrating inclusion is so last season.

Pentagon spokesperson John Ullyot praised the effort, calling it “rapid compliance” with Trump’s directive. Yes, erasing history at warp speed is definitely something to be proud of.

Meanwhile, Trump has placed Fox News personality Pete Hegseth—best known for his aversion to germs, women in combat, and basic human rights—in charge of the military. His first order of business? Banning trans people from serving. Because nothing says “national security” like policing pronouns.

In conclusion: the Trump administration is making history—by deleting it. Next up, a Pentagon task force to erase the word “color” from rainbows. Just in case they missed a spot.